hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
