If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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