I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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