It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
