when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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