Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize