i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
