they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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