Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
