The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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