Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
from now on my penis is your penis
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
