I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
