Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
