I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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