Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
