good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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