Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
handjob tips. give me some.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
