Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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