Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
