the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
