Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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