whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I wear drunk well.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
