Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
