He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize