bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
