Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
