Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
