Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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