i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
