life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
that's an acceptable place to lick
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
