The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
