Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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