How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
