it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
