You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
