It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
