Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
