My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
