went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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