if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
