I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
