awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
