Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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