I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
