Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
