dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
