I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
