DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
