Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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