You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
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