I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
im six kinds of drunk right now
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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