have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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