When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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