ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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