my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
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