i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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