And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
