just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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