Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
