Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize