So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
