Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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