Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
