My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
is it fun? or sober?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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