She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
