I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I could fuck to npr.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
