I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
