How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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